I honestly wish I could say something more negative about this game other than the fact that it can induce an insane amount of panic. I wish I could say it wasn’t nearly as fun as we hyped it up to be, or that the soundtrack was massively lack-luster. I wish I could say it was just another hipster independent game riding that wave of digital-brand sriracha and skinny jeans. However, it is to my extreme disappointment and major pissed-offed-ness, that I can’t say ANYTHING like that, or even close at ALL, about the fantastically-violent run-and-gun heart-throb that is Broforce.

It came to PS4 (previously only on PC) earlier this year, free on the Network. You guys should know that I loove me some free games, but I have to admit I have mostly been un-enchanted with the nostalgic trend of making new games that look like old games. I loved that shit when I was a kid, sure; but nowadays, we have these things called GRAPHICS, and STORY LINES, so, suffice it to say I don’t RF to Sega or Nintendo all that often. I like to always at least TRY the two free games that the PSN drops every month, even if they DO end up being terrible and an absolute waste of my precious time. This way, at the very least, I get to rip apart the worst of the worst on the inter-webs.

But not you Broforce, NOO. You just HAD to be the perfect combination of decently-lengthy and challenging game-play, brightly-coloured sophomoric violence, and a badass soundtrack that seriously shreds. You play as American-Army-Meat-Bro, collecting a pretty beefy gallery of other bros like Rambro, Bro McClane, Agent Bro, and many, many more, while running through the side-scrolling 8-bit version of basically every 80’s action movie ever. Everything around you is constantly exploding, and your sole concern is rescuing your bros and mowing down everyone and everything in a race to stop Satan and his minions from destroying your proud country. You WILL die. In every mission. Over, and over and over again. You won’t rage quit though, that’s how much fun this game is. Every mission is different, the graphics are a gem; shiny, nostalgic, AND hilarious. You WILL laugh at all the dumb squishy noises they make, and how brutal every death is. It isn’t a quick climax either. Several hours of constant action with no resting during missions and standing still for too long means certain death.

What I’m saying is, I literally have nothing bad to say about this game. I hate it, and it’s SO annoying, but it’s true. I give Broforce 9.5/10, have already played again. Download it, if you haven’t yet. It’s free, so, what more can you ask for? It’s also on Steam, for those of you in the master race. Check it out GO GO GO GO GOOOOOO!