So Bethesda ran a free Elder Scrolls Online event this past weekend. I don’t own the game, but I did participate in the closed beta on PC back before the release, a year ago. Boy, was THAT a mess, however, that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Let’s talk about my first three days in the paid MMORPG that COULD actually give WoW a run for it’s money, as so many have claimed to do before and hadn’t come close.
WordPress is an asshole.
Now, as it normally is with any MMORPG(for those of you new to the genre), there really is no beating the game, mainly because there is no true END to an online open wonder-world game such as this. So I decided to give it a few days on PS4 to do an honest review for you all who may have missed it. Boy oh boy, Bethesda, you really know how to frustrate the holy shit out of people, all while mystifying them with beautiful graphics and complex story-lines. As a long-time fan of all things Bethesda (I’ve been playing ES since Arena was released on MS DOS in 1994) I know the drill. I’ve dealt with all the buggy bullshit, the god-smacked, force-dropped quests eternally stuck in my journal, and ALL THE GLITCHES EVER, just to be a part of the magically immersive world of Tamriel, and ESO is NO different; aside from the fact that now you have to fight with other noobs for quest mobs and loot while praying that side-quest for that slightly better pair of pauldrons doesn’t bug-up.
 WordPress is an asshole.
If you ever thought Elder Scrolls was complicated before, you are in for a rude awakening; cuz you ain’t seen shit til you’ve sat for 20 minutes to an hour trying to figure out how to be able to craft that level 1 iron dagger in the beginning of the game. Remember having your quest markers glitch up if you had more than one active? Welp, I hope you’re prepared for a TON more of that. OH DID YOU WANT TO DO that QUEST?? Well too bad because you accidentally clicked left on the d-pad without realising it while trying to share a screenshot and now you’re running in the opposite direction. Be ready to yell “Well WTF was that shit?!” at your screen every half hour, at least. Leveling up also takes forever, in what seems to be the hardest grind in an ESO game yet. I played for 3 days and ended up at level 9. Whereas in WoW, I could play for a day and end up at lvl 20, easily, without boosts. So don’t expect to get too far too fast if you’re not willing to drop some MORE real life cash on this already expensive game. Did I mention the audacity of the price they plugged this at? While a previous article prior to release stated it would be free-to-play after a one-time purchase of the game itself, reality has determined this to be a lie. However, it IS on sale currently for 10$ on the PSN, and the subscription fee is 14.99 monthly. Sorta like how WoW USED to be, before they got their shit together and dropped the monthly charge all together. So not only do you have to BUY THE GAME, AND pay the monthly fee, but they also have the balls to have a micro-transaction store as if they were giving the shit away for free to begin with. Greedy bitches.
 WordPress is an asshole.
I WILL say that it is, as always, at the top of the line when it comes to the pretties. The actual characters look better and more properly-shaped than they have yet, and it seems like they spared no expense when it comes to the visual experience; as has come to be expected of Bethesda games. They do try to help you out in the beginning by giving you enough of their own micro-transaction currency (crowns) to purchase a start-up boost pack. Which comes with the ugliest horse and novelty-pet dog you’ve ever seen, and ONE SINGLE EXP scroll that lasts for 2 hours. Wooooo generous! (eyeroll)
 WordPress is an asshole.
I WILL ALSO say, that I haven’t heard anyone trying to tell me stories of how they used to be an adventurer like me until they took an arrow to the knee. Thank Satan.
 WordPress is an asshole.
In closing, Bethesda, you got me like a battered wife. WHY DO I STAY!?!?! Oh wait, I didn’t buy the game, so I’m safe. I may still yet, winter is coming. I’ll give my first 3 days an 8/10, one, because I’ve got a heart-string biased and two because it’s a damn good-looking MMORPG with familiar surroundings and stories. Not to mention, you start the game in what is basically hell. So that’s cool. If you’re into that sort of thing.

Advertisements