Have you ever read those ‘choose your scare’ Goosebumps books, where depending on what you chose at the bottom of the page, the ending changes? Well, welcome to that, in video game form, with worse art. Which is saying something, considering the only art in Goosebumps books was on the front cover. I was scrolling through FTP games on Steam when I came across Disturbed; a black and white sketch ‘horror survival’ game that plays more like a text-based version of MYST that my cousin’s 6 year old daughter drew. Or maybe even the guy that illustrated Scary Stories did it. Maybe not, that would literally be an insult to that guy. I fucking loved those books. This game, not SO much.
WordPress is an asshole.
Get ready to die a bunch in the stupidest way possible. The grass kills you, the trees kill you, I really thought I was playing the shitty PC game adaptation sequel to that shitty M. Night Shammy flick The Happening. Do YOU love back-tracking on purpose?? I hope so, cause there will be more than your fair share of THAT in this game. Most importantly, I hope you thoroughly enjoy games that end weirdly with a bunch of questions that never get answered and little parts you left behind KNOWING there was something you can do, being left undone. There’s a locked pen RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE, it mentions a key needed. Do you ever get in there? NOPE. Do you ever find out what happened to that slightly kind neighbor that has the chick from The Grudge chained up in his basement? OF COURSE NOT. Do you ever figure out a way to cross the tainted field to the town you visit every week but now magically somehow can not? No fuckin’ way. BUT! There IS a bitchy unicorn! Yes folks, you get to cosplay a first-person, green-tights-wearin’ Tom Cruise while trying to figure out what the actual fuck is going on to make all your crops wilt and your poor cow die. All the while, wrapped up in 612398 different King Arthur references. That’s wtf I call a Monday night.
WordPress is an asshole.
IS the game ACTUALLY disturbing? I guess. In the way thaaaaat… it’s disturbing that I spent wayyy more time than I needed to playing this game. I challenge you to beat it on the first try(they call it a ‘short game’) without looking up some other scrub’s walk-through. GO AHEAD. You won’t. I give this game a 4/10 because I got to die a lot. Like I will while waiting for the sequel so I can finally finish this unfinished crap.